Wanzwa's new single 'The Boogieman'* is a classic coming-of-age love story full of betrayal, teen-angst, and religious propaganda carefully drafted by our corporate sponsors so that we can sell an ass-load of albums to insecure, psychologically damaged children. With "The Boogieman's" deep lyrical imagery evoking powerful themes ranging from 'Hey Baby I Need You' to 'Baby, Please, Get On Your Knees', from 'Your Girlfriend's My Favorite Whore' to 'Jesus Likes Watching You Jerk It', from 'Drug Free School Zone' to "Let's Get High Behind The Gym", from "I Want To Sit At The Cool Table" to "I Want A Career In Law-Enforcement" you get the full mentally-inept high school experience!
BUT WAIT! Before you ask, there's even MORE!
For our veteran listeners and the one time only low, low payment of just 3 easy sets of five easy payments of just 33.33$, we'll include our subliminally-enhanced digital vinyl-record and an absolutely FREE mental record-player simulator-- at no extra charge to you! 'Spin' our record backwards and discover our hidden musical Zombie Survival Guide: "How to Protect Yourself from the Inevitable Re-Rising of the South Following Obama's Re-Election". We'll teach you how to fit in with your local fundamentalist cults, colloquially known as 'Baptists', and how to inconspicuously integrate society in the land of "If it ain't white, it ain't right", regardless of your skin color. Learn our trademarked secrets on how to avoid redneck detection with heartless conservative rhetoric like, "Corporations are people, my friend", "Jesus would bring back debtors prisons", and "Science is a communist conspiracy designed by Satan to test our faith in God." You'll be a perfectly blended, unnoticeable, clueless shit-kicker in practically no time at all!
BUT THAT'S NOT ALL!
Order NOW and receive an ABSOLUTELY FREE, ULTRA-DELUXE, SPECIALLY-LAMINATED, SCIENTIFICALLY-ENHANCED PLASTIC-COATED, HAND-MADE, GIFT-WRAPPED, GOLD-PLATED imaginary accompanying pamphlet featuring the next five years worth of lottery numbers as our gift to You. It's our way of saying, 'Thanks!'.
*Not intended for human consumption. Use at your own risk. Neither AOL-TimeWarner-Disney-Viacom-ComcastNBC-WalMart-ExxonMobil-Apple-Verizon nor its parent company, Wanzwa Media International, shall in any way be held liable for any possible misuse or otherwise herein thereof within and without this product. Not recommended for children under seventy-five. Individual results may vary. If swallowed contact poison control IMMEDIATELY, or at your nearest convenience. FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY!